Feminine vs. Masculine
When I was in college, I went to therapy for OCD tendencies. Growing up I was always anxious. I was in thousands of school activities, honors classes, volunteering, and constantly filling my schedule to the brim. I was organized, structured, and incredibly driven. This structure gave me so many gifts. I felt driven, passionate, confident, and accomplished that allowed me to move toward my goals with excitement.
However it also made me controlling and resentful at times. I was constantly running on low battery. I wasn’t connected to my body, and I definitely didn’t nurture or take care of it. I was competitive, judgmental, and rigid in relationships trying to prove myself to others. Everything felt like I had to force or put effort into it from my pursuit in theatre to my relationships. This made it really hard to have female friends, and I felt disconnected and isolated.
When I graduated college I got heavily involved in yoga. It made me slow down, breathe, and move my body in ways it wasn’t used to. I started to feel more connected, confident, and loving toward myself and others. I started to feel confident, sensual, and creative. I gained appreciation for new female friends in my life. My OCD tendencies and anxiety fell away, and I got more playful, intuitive, empathetic, and FUN,
I found out years later that this time in my life is when I healed from my past limitations and pattern. It’s when I allowed the feminine energy IN. For years I was operating from a masculine drive, structure, and passion, and it made me disconnected from parts of myself that were waiting to feel healed.
So what are these energies that have such an impact on our patterns and life?
Feminine vs. Masculine
There are polar energies in our subtle body system that are constantly working. They show up in our environment, our bodies, and how we interact with the world.
In the subtle body system, there are three main channels of energies (nadis.) The right side of the body is considered the masculine energy,, or Pingala. The left side of the body is the feminine energy, or Ida. Together, these 2 energies weave together connecting in the center channel of energy along the spine, Sushumna. When these energies are weaving and balanced, it provides a balanced state of energy starting at the base of the spine and working upward to the crown, toward enlightenment and bliss. These energies are genderless, but are qualities that all of us have. Often we show up more domininant in a particular energy which can show up as imbalance in many aspects of life.
The feminine side is our lunar or yin side. Similar to how the moon effects the tides, we can feel the element of water show up in the cycles of the moon and the ability to change, transform, and shift in a flowing and easeful way. This side provides our intuition, ability to go with the flow, creativity, connection to nature and community, softness, vulnerability, nourishment, and maternal instincts. The masculine side is our fire or yang side. This energy is our drive, motivation, organization, structure, determination, passion.
We need both of these sides equally.
WOUNDED ENERGIES:
Wounded or imbalanced masculine energy often displays itself as dominating, fear-based leadership, over-commitment, over-achieving, stress, anxiety, rigid, and a lack of ability to get creative with solutions. Overly masculine energy is like a fire that is out of control. It burns and burns depleting the sense of flow and self-care. You may notice overly dominant masculine energy shows up in your physical workouts and you are drawn to more intense forms of exercise such as HIIT, weight training, power vinyasa yoga, biking, and marathons, but you do little movement that is flowing and slow. You may notice that you are rigid in expectations and control. You may notice you are reactive, confrontational, controlling, judgmental, and critical.
Wounded or imbalanced feminine energy displays itself as sluggish, co-dependent, powerless, inactive or lethargic, lack of drive or motivation, overly sensitive, and spending too much time in dreamland without action. When you are wounded in feminine energy you may be overly emotional to the point that it is debilitating. You may notice that you feel more connected to slower forms of movement such as yin yoga, walking, swimming, dance but do little strength training or vigorous forms of exercise. You may notice a neediness for others, attached to certain relationships, shrinking to feel small and weak, and a sense of powerlessness.
NATURAL BALANCE:
When we are balanced between the two, we can listen to intuition and make choices with ease. We can then take inspired action with a healthy sense of drive and passion. In balance the feminine works with the masculine to deliver conscious choices and healing in relationships. We become better leaders, friends, partners, parents. We lead from heart instead of Ego.
A balanced masculine energy allows us to set boundaries in a clear way. It gives us focus and motivation to take inspired action toward our goals. It gives energy to core values. There is a feeling of clarity and confidence that comes with balanced and healthy masculine energy. It is our responsibility to Dharma (purpose) and others without guilt or obligation. It is an inner and outer strength that is balanced with vulnerability and softness.
A balanced feminine energy allows us to make choices from an intuitive place. It makes us connected to our environment and relationships around us. There is an ease with leadership that is empathetic and powerful. Creativity flows through you in all aspects of live. You take care of yourself as a priority so that you can show up an nurture others in service. You are able to surrender and allow. You have a healthy balance of stillness and quiet. You connect with nature and community as you see yourself as part of the collective whole.
If you are reading any of this and recognizing aspects of your energy that need to connect more, consider the following questions.
Ask yourself…
Where are you dominant?
What do you need to heal?
What does it feel like to be balanced in feminine and masculine?
What will you do to create balance?
